TARBORO, South Carolina – Mike Bloomberg, the multi-billionaire who is picking up more Democratic support than Lizzy Warren, Joey Biden, and the Bernster Sanders put together, says that he is in “Full Kick-ass” mode.
President Trump has said that Bloomberg is too short to be president. “Bloomy” as former Republican, Clint Eastwood, affectionately calls him, said that, if you take away Trump’s humongous ego, he would go from being 6 foot 2, to being 5 foot 1.
He went on to say that old President “Sitting Bullshit” is about as worthless as tits on a male mannequin. He noted that if Trump spent one-tenth as much time on the national deficit as he does hitting that friggin little golf ball, the U.S. deficit could be cut down to $9,500 by Christmas.
Bloomberg added that, of the 44 countries in Europe, 43 have gone on record as saying that Trump is not only the worst president in the history of presidents, but he is also the worst person in the history of persons.
The former mayor of New York City stated that he is worth $62 billion, whereas Comrade Trumpski is only worth $3 billion. Bloomberg laughed, and pointed out that, compared to him, Old Orange Boy should be applying for food stamps.
IN UNRELATED NEWS – Reports coming out of Buckingham Palace say that Queen Elizabeth is so upset with her grandson Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, that she’s gone from weighing 128 pounds down to 113 pounds. An aide stated that her crown no longer fits properly
