LONG BRANCH, South Carolina – The candidate who is leading the Democratic pack running for president, Bernie Sanders, told The Washington Globe Express that he has just received a tremendously generous offer from President Vladimir Putin of Russia.
Sanders said that he received a call from a Mr. Yurlovo Molovenko, who said he was one of Putin’s top aides. Bernie noted that Molovenko had informed him that Putin wanted to donate $18 million to the Sanders' Democratic Campaign Fund.
Bernie, who hates billionaires, Trump’s base, Russian food, hair combover jokes, and the dipshit in the White House, told Molovenko to tell Vlady thanks, but no thanks.
The 78-year-old Sanders said that he would rather kiss an oil-stained walrus before he would accept any money from Trump’s Russian boyfriend.
Molovenko replied, “Okay, is no big deal, Rip Van Winkle. We give dee $18 million to the Trumpster. He will take it in an effen New York second.”
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