CHICAGO – The Chicago Daily Wind is reporting that a woman has come forward alleging that the occupant of the White House, Donald J. Trump, is the father of her 13-year-old triplet daughters.
Milly Wetwind, 34, who goes by the name of Milly Knockers, told the Daily Wind that she had just started working at Hooters when she met Donald Trump.
She remarked that he was charming, and talked to her about hamburgers, golf, Trump University, Russia, his gigantic pecker, and her D-Cup-size tits.
Wetwind said that, before he left to fly to Tijuana, Mexico, Mr. Trump left her a $2 tip, and his private cell phone number, which is [Number deleted by Editor].
Milly said that she has called Trump about 170 times since the birth of her triplet daughters, but every time the recorded message says “Mr. Trump is golfing, so he will call you back.”
A reporter for the Daily Wind did manage to catch up with Trump at the Mrs. Daniel Boone Invitational Golf Tournament in Bowling Green, Kentucky, and he showed him the photo of the triplets.
Trump looked at the photo and replied, “Well, for one, I have never ever been to Chicago. Two, I have no effen idea where Chicago even is. Three, I do not recall ever talking to a Milly Wetwind, and four, anyone can tell that the girls look nothing at all like me.”
POTUS then remarked, “I mean, lets get real here. Anyone, even Steve Mnuchin can see that the three little girls in the photo are all black.”
IN CLOSING - Ms. Wetwind said that her three daughters named Donisha, Donzellondra, and Trumpelina are not really black. She pointed out that they all just have some fabulously fantastic tans.