Woman Admits Going to Company Lunch Only for Free Food

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 5 February 2020

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Flagrantly working the system, Pam Cooper had more interest in food than in conversation at a company event.

Mere minutes before the Super Bowl lunch hosted by the law firm where she works, Pam Cooper of Nashville, Tennessee, confided to a coworker that she was planning to attend the event solely for the free food.

"I was a little taken aback," said colleague, Trent Lister. "But then again, they were serving pizza and wings, which are tough to come by here in Nashville." He chuckled. "Not."

While Lister did his best to conceal his judgment of Cooper's flagrant exploitation of the camaraderie-building firm-sponsored event, he couldn't help but be nonplussed by her flagrant working of the system for edible gains. "She said straight out she wasn't really interested in talking to people," he said. "I mean, WTF?"

By all indications, Cooper herself had no qualms about her own behavior. She told Lister, "I'm going to try to also grab a couple of bottled waters while I'm there. They're handy for after the gym."

Despite his differing motivation for participating in company events, Lister says that he does not plan to let Cooper's revelation affect their professional relationship. "We have to work together, and the only way to do that is not to judge," he said. "To each his own."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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