Hillary refuses VP spot on Bloomberg-Clinton ticket

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 4 December 2019

image for Hillary refuses VP spot on Bloomberg-Clinton ticket
Ms. Clinton with a recent hair dye says she is still considering whether to enter the race

Inside sources indicate Ms. Clinton has severe reservations on joining with Mr. Bloomberg for the 2020 presidential election next November.

“Once a bride, or even twice, is enough,” she told reporters, “in this age of gender equality and alterations. Let Mr. Bloomberg wear the bridal veil at VEEP instead.”

Mr. Bloomberg, 9th richest man on the planet, has some 54 billions-plus to his credit, up from $4.7 billion in 2001 when he first became mayor of New York City.

“I appreciate Ms. Clinton’s expertise,” the Mayor rejoined, “in handling DNC nominations and such, as well as affairs in the Ukraine.”

A moment later he added: “And let’s not leave out how to blame Russia if we happen to be defeated, which we wouldn’t be.”

At this point his smile jammed a reporter’s camera, seeking a quick shot for The Washington Post.

His final point: “However, it is myself with the bucks, and bucks enough, I might add, to buy the entire election outright.”

That is, according to reports in recent days, given the previous presidential and congressional elections at 6 billion something, he could afford that out of his 54 billions no problem.

Indeed, Mr. Bloomberg is looking out for the billionaire class with his late entry into the 2020 Presidential Contest.

He has just started a sliver group within the Democratic Party, abbreviated to PTR (Protect the Rich), “to bolster the identity of the Party,” he has said.

At a cost of six billion or so to secure the 2020 Democratic Nomination he could actually save on future taxes if Bernie Sanders or someone from that crowd should happen to win the office.

“Fat chance of that,” Ms. Clinton has said. “We’re not communists.”

“And what about my sliver group?" she added. "Huh? The PEW (Promote and Empower the Wealthy)?”

When a reporter pointed out to Ms. Clinton the word PEW is sometimes used to warn other people of a foul stench, she glared angrily in response.

“I won last time didn’t I--did you read my book?--despite a gerrymandered electoral system getting in my way, along with the Russians and their facebook ads.”

Reporters attempted to return to the subject of the interview:

“But VP with Mr. Bloomberg?”

“He needs to get it straight that a mere mayor is a pipsqueak up against my world travels, my associations, the favors I can call in, and The Clinton Foundation.”

“Give me a break.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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