Adam Schiff caught driving through Washington D.C. with chicken on his shoulder

Written by joseph k winter

Friday, 15 November 2019

image for Adam Schiff caught driving through Washington D.C. with chicken on his shoulder
Due to new celebrity on this matter Mr. Schiff is considering a parrot and other paraphernalia for his next run around town

Caught and advised by police on problems with a bird on his shoulder, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff has stated he was inspired by a Wisconsin man, detained last weekend.

This 42-year-old resident of Wisconsin was arrested after driving erratically with what a 911 caller described as a “hawk” on his shoulder.

That hawk, however, turned out to be “a common brown chicken,” found inside the vehicle along with numerous empty beer cans.

The chicken’s name is “Teresa” and has decided to plead the fifth, according to Milwaukee Animal Control Commission executive director, Karen Sparapani.

Mr. Schiff, perspiring slightly, has confided to reporters that this “hawk on shoulder” incident inspired him to use his vehicle “as a statement.”

“Well, a hawk is not quite an eagle, but you have to admit it’s close,” he stated. “And, after all, the common farm chicken also has to be a relative. I think.”

Mr. Schiff’s was apparently motivated to this action, along with “Impeach Trump!” stickers on his vehicle, due to what he thinks might be flagging interest in current proceedings.

Asked where he got the chicken, Mr. Schiff replied that chickens can be rented via Amazon dot com.

But as to why not a hawk or an eagle (also available according to Mr. Bezos), he responded:

“Well, they could be dangerous, fluttering around inside the vehicle. A chicken is easier to deal with.”

Mr. Bezos was also contacted on this incident and indicates upcoming partnering with Google to find out just how popular this type of activity might be in the populace.

“As you know, we’re here to serve the public,” he said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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