One in Four Americans Affected by Mental Health

Written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 14 October 2019

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Fortunately, rates of mental health are on the decline, says the NIH.

A recent report from the National Institute of Health revealed that one in four Americans is affected by mental health, but, fortunately, rates of mental health are on the rapid decline.

"We're making progress," said NIH Director Francis Collins. "In fact, in some geographic locations and professional fields, mental health has been all but eradicated."

Some the professions in which mental health is not a concern for people include politics, advertising, pharmaceutical sales, and the law. In addition, mental health is practically unheard of in certain specific parts of the country, designated "Non-Blue Zones," like New York City, Washington, DC, and Orlando.

Unfortunately, mental health remains a significant factor in some artistic and creative fields, but is becoming less and less of a problem in the music industry.

Collins noted that prescription medications like opioids and SSRIs have likewise gone a long way in reducing chronic mental health. "But they only work if you take them," he reminded the general population.

Overall, he stated that the picture was largely positive. "Everyone deserves to be free of debilitating mental health," sad Collins. "We'll get there."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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