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Funny satire stories about Depression

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Funny story: Paranoid Man Now Unable To Watch Rugby Matches

Paranoid Man Now Unable To Watch Rugby Matches

A man who has suffered from paranoia for more than 50 years, has told friends how his condition has deteriorated recently so that he cannot bear to watch rugby, either live, or on the television. Gerald Fitzpatrick, 63, from East London, has been...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Classifies Anxiety as Exercise

Desperate FDA Classifies Anxiety as Exercise

Desperate to counter skyrocketing rates of mental illness and plummeting rates of physical activity, the Food and Drug Association has officially classified anxiety as exercise. "It really does get the heart rate up at times," said FDA Commissione...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Reluctantly Accepts Unconditional Happiness

Nashville Man Reluctantly Accepts Unconditional Happiness

After decades of attempting to find happiness though career success and personal relationships but never managing to attain any of these things, Casey Chapman of Nashville, Tennessee, reluctantly accepted unconditional happiness. "It wasn't my fir...

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Funny story: One in Four Americans Affected by Mental Health

One in Four Americans Affected by Mental Health

A recent report from the National Institute of Health revealed that one in four Americans is affected by mental health, but, fortunately, rates of mental health are on the rapid decline. "We're making progress," said NIH Director Francis Collins.

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Funny story: General Anesthesia Recommended for Majority of American Population

General Anesthesia Recommended for Majority of American Population

With over half of Americans regularly taking at least one prescription medication for either physical or psychological ailments or both, the Food and Drug Administration has recommended that the majority of the population simply be put under general...

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Funny story: Dear Cynical Sam: An Advice Column

Dear Cynical Sam: An Advice Column

The following are letters from Cynical Sam's readers. Both of them. Dear Cynical Sam, This is the seventh letter I've written you about this, and you have never answered. So here I go again. My husband Harold and I went for a drive three mo...

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Funny story: United States to Annex State of Anxiety

United States to Annex State of Anxiety

Not to be deterred by his failed bid to purchase Greenland, United States President, Donald Trump, recently announced that the nation will be annexing the 51st state - specifically, the state of Anxiety. "Rich in natural resources like indigenous...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Finds Humor in Stupid and Mundane Parts of Life and Ends Up Laughing All the Time

Nashville Man Finds Humor in Stupid and Mundane Parts of Life and Ends Up Laughing All the Time

Lionel Bigsby of Brooklyn, New York, decided to stop crying or.yelling about all the stupid and mundane nonsense that came his way, and to laugh over it instead - and has been in stitches ever since. "What does 'in stitches' even mean?" said a cac...

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Funny story: Only Time Americans Believe Everything Is Going to Be All Right Is When They Hear It in a Song

Only Time Americans Believe Everything Is Going to Be All Right Is When They Hear It in a Song

With cynicism and disillusionment increasingly pervading the American consciousness thanks to shifty politicians, racial divisiveness, spiraling gun violence, and ever more dire reports about climate change, Americans are having a harder time than ev...

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Funny story: Millennial Worries that Being Dead Might Be Even More Boring than Being Alive

Millennial Worries that Being Dead Might Be Even More Boring than Being Alive

Curt Framingham, a 26-year-old software designer living in Atlanta, Georgia, isn't particularly impressed with what life's had to offer him thus far but is concerned that being dead might be even more boring. "Honestly, I'd say consciousness is ov...

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Funny story: Rebranding of Blues Music as "Depressive Melodics" Flops Terribly

Rebranding of Blues Music as "Depressive Melodics" Flops Terribly

In the interest of promoting mental health awareness and empathy, music label Safe Space Records, Inc., tried rebranding the blues artists it represented as "creatives struggling with clinical depression," and blues music itself as "depressive melodi...

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Funny story: Neurotic New Yorkers Debate Who's Most Anxious

Neurotic New Yorkers Debate Who's Most Anxious

"I don't know anybody who has worse anxiety than me," said Lauren Kane of New York City. "I wake up every morning with a crushing sense of dread. If I even managed to fall asleep the night before, that is." While sympathetic to Lauren's anxiety is...

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Funny story: Nashville Songwriter Summarizes General Life-Weariness with "Oh, ya know"

Nashville Songwriter Summarizes General Life-Weariness with "Oh, ya know"

Carson Ray, an erstwhile singer-songwriter living in Nashville, Tennessee, stumbled onto a powerfully handy turn of phrase suitable for responding to just about any inquiry or passing remark in, "Oh, ya know." "It works for just about anything," s...

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Funny story: Trump-Weary Americans Eager to Experience the "P" in PTSD

Trump-Weary Americans Eager to Experience the "P" in PTSD

In the face of accelerating climate chaos, threatened raids on undocumented immigrants and their families, and incessant presidential tweets reminding them of the maturity level of the person leading their nation, many Americans say that they are eag...

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Funny story: New York Woman Happy to Be Single by Choice

New York Woman Happy to Be Single by Choice

Although it would be quite simple for her to meet her soul-mate and fall madly and passionately in love should she so opt, 38-year-old Brenda Meadows of Brooklyn, New York, is genuinely happy to be single by choice. “It’s a decision I feel so good...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Becomes a Stoic

Nashville Man Becomes a Stoic

In the grand tradition of Roman emperor/philosopher Marcus Aurelius, Ben Foley of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to become a Stoic. "I dig it," said Foley of his new way of life. "It's chill. Steady, as my man Marcus liked to say." Foley explain...

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Funny story: Big Pharma Introduces Medication to Cure Creativity

Big Pharma Introduces Medication to Cure Creativity

With a wave of artists and perforners coming out about their experiences with depression, anxiety and other mood disorders, Big Pharma giant Smerck & Co. believes that it has found the solution - by more accurately pinpointing the problem. "Ar...

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