America has built the world’s largest nut house, or loony bin, or funny farm, or "Medical Institute for the Mentally Impaired Whack-Jobs." And they have plans to build more! At least one per state, though some states may need more than a few. The…
The NMIP Assn. had its annual Convention in Los Angeles - the Craziest town in the U. S. A. (Police for years, all over the West, gave their mentally ill residents free one-way bus tickets to Los Angeles.) After many testimonials for new medicati…
I had to go to my shrink again due to my crippling brain diseases, but this time I asked him questions instead of him asking me. He’s a girl who likes boys who likes girls who is a boy. And I’M the confused one?! Doctor [name withheld], if a perso…
Although it is nearly a year, bookworm and equal opportunities bod Gary Johnson is still recovering from reading the collective works of Nadine Dorries. Gary told us 'I have always been one of those people who gives authors a good go, regardless o…
Vatican - On Wednesday Pope Francis made a shocking statement of God's mental health. "I just don't believe in myself anymore." God is rumored to have said to his therapist. In addition to his recent self doubt God has been suffering with an…
After a productive spree which generated several new stories this morning, the Spoof News writer known as Earthvessel is signalling for help. Apparently for reasons unknown, Earthvessel or E.V. has determined he cannot stop generating the stories…
A local man announced on Monday that he feels his seasonal depression gets worse and worse every year, and scientists say this is yet another effect of global warming. Michael Blackstone, 31, says that his depression is most severe when daylight…
(UNEDITED) Hoarding is a psychological sickness; cluttering one's house up with light bulbs, newspapers, tinned dog and cat food, clothes, plus other mindless amounts of things, is basically incurable. However, a house in a tiny hamlet in Germany,…
Having recently escaped from Ikea, ladies man, Brian Asshat, has revealed that the many grudges he already has have been growing during the lockdown. 'Let's look at the people I dislike. Hilary from the library, Tom Johnson from down the street, B…
The government's social-distancing advice, given to try to limit the spread of any viruses that might be about, are, on the whole, having a positive effect, but there is one section of the population that is finding it nigh-on impossible to keep away...
A proponent of positive thinking, United States President Donald Trump dismissed the wave of depression, anxiety, and other mental illness reportedly sweeping the nation as “fake blues.” “As Abraham Lincoln said, most folks are about as happy as t...
After fending off its advances for years, Wayne Mason of Nashville, Tennessee, finally allowed depression to have its way with him. “Very seductive,” said Mason of the existential, twisted thoughts with which depression ultimately lured him in. “U...
Surpassing all mental health expectations, Cameron Foster of Nashville, Tennessee, became the first patient on record to be diagnosed as not merely bipolar, but tripolar. "It’s an honor," said 42-year-old Foster of his newfound claim to psychiatri...
Desperate to counter skyrocketing rates of mental illness and plummeting rates of physical activity, the Food and Drug Association has officially classified anxiety as exercise. "It really does get the heart rate up at times," said FDA Commissione...
A recent report from the National Institute of Health revealed that one in four Americans is affected by mental health, but, fortunately, rates of mental health are on the rapid decline. "We're making progress," said NIH Director Francis Collins.
By Dr. Ronald Thompson Are you psychotic? Sure, we all wonder that. In my practice, patients have asked me that question numerous times, and I always give them the same answer: Probably. But I needed more than that to actually prove that someon...
Grant County, Wisconsin. After listening to 19-year-old Timothy Wilber carefully articulate the numerous reasons why he feels lonely, depressed, confused, insecure, and 'out-of-place' as a Philosophy Major at the UW-Platteville School of Engineering...
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