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Funny story: Democrat Congress to Make "Capitalism" Illegal by 2020

Democrat Congress to Make "Capitalism" Illegal by 2020

NEW YORK - A recent CNBC business segment with Jim Cramer reported that Wall Street would face "annihilation" if Elizabeth Warren were to be elected President of the United States in 2020. Although an "Ultra-Millionaire Tax" got the most attention, t...

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Funny story: Underpaid Workers Happy to Help Capitalism Thrive

Underpaid Workers Happy to Help Capitalism Thrive

After contract workers at a major New York City consulting firm discovered that the company was making hundreds of millions of dollars off their services while they themselves received no benefits and only a stingy and utterly static hourly wage, mos...

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Funny story: Adventures in the Merchant Arse-Gravy

Adventures in the Merchant Arse-Gravy

It was early in the spring of 1835 when me and my friend Arsecock were shanghai-ed. We had only had a few pints in The Admirals' Cockles in Plymouth, but there must have been something in the brew. When I woke up, I was sick, the whole world was rolling from side to side, and everything smelt of shit. "Where am I?" I asked. "Hahar! Ye've awoken," said a gruff bearded old man in a smart unifo...

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Funny story: Pharmaceutical Chief Mocks America

Pharmaceutical Chief Mocks America

Head of Pharmaceutical multinational giant, Savage Drugs, Inc., Michael Portfolio, praised the United States today as "the indispensable nation, a model for humanity because it is the last bastion of freedom and liberty." He pointed out that his d...

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Funny story: EpiPen CEO Defends Huge Price Hike

EpiPen CEO Defends Huge Price Hike

"I'm not a villain," said Heather Avarice, chief executive of Extort Pharmaceuticals, one the few generic drug manufactures left in an oligopolistic industry noted for price gouging. She was speaking at a press conference today at company headquarte...

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Funny story: Brexit moving quickly toward nexit, hexit, and feckit as financiers scramble for the too big to fail handbook

Brexit moving quickly toward nexit, hexit, and feckit as financiers scramble for the too big to fail handbook

Brexit's financial fall out explained in brief is the monkey lost his stash out of his jungle nest and let out a moan fit to get everybody's teeth grinding. It is unfortunate, of course, when the clientele suddenly disappears and all that potentia...

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Funny story: The Pope In Mexico

The Pope In Mexico

It was a hot day as Pope Francis addressed over ten thousand people today at the National Auditorium, Mexico City. His Holiness, visibly tired from his hectic days of meetings with local dignitaries, diplomats and politicians seemed very thirsty as he availed himself freely from a large decanter of 'water'placed on a small table by his throne. Pope Francis's Address in Mexico City Raisin...

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Funny story: Lemonade Stands Downgraded to CCC by Standard & Poor's

Lemonade Stands Downgraded to CCC by Standard & Poor's

Wall Street - Standard & Poor's has downgraded the credit rating of lemonade stands to CCC from its previous rating of BB. Both ratings are considered non-investment grade, which means S&P considers lemonade stands to be very risky investmen...

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Funny story: Banks Reply to Greece

Banks Reply to Greece

Yes folks, it's ALL FOR YOU, isn't it? "Why can't we all just... get along?" "The International Monetary Fund (IMF) is an international organization headquartered in Washington, D. C., of 188 countries working to foster global monetary coopera...

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Funny story: Too big to jail executive mistaken for ordinary criminal apologized to and released

Too big to jail executive mistaken for ordinary criminal apologized to and released

Resigning Attorney General Eric Holder has come forward to clarify what happened with a banking executive who recently spent a night in jail anyway, despite being "too big to jail." This executive (who must remain anonymous, according to Mr. Hold...

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Funny story: Rich And Poor State What They Have To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving - Mostly the Rich

Rich And Poor State What They Have To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving - Mostly the Rich

"I am thankful that I have a job even though I have to work today 'cause my boss told me too." said Chad Shafted in a slight break between customers at 11 at night at the Des Plaines Walmart in Illinois. "I am thankful even though I am not being paid...

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Funny story: No Problem That Rich Get Richer In U.S.

No Problem That Rich Get Richer In U.S.

The jobless rate has fallen to 6% in figures released by the government. President Obama responded, "lot of good stuff is happening in the economy but some minor challenges remain." Said Secretary of Labor, Bud Costello, "The minor glitches in th...

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Funny story: CEOs Form Labor Union,"Justice For Capitalists"

CEOs Form Labor Union,"Justice For Capitalists"

CEOs and CFOs of major U.S. financial institutions have formed a labor union called "Justice For Capitalists." The new group is a pushback response to a movement among shareholders across the U.S. to take back executive salaries and bonuses whe...

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Funny story: Feudalism Reinstituted in Suckersland where One Man owns Everything

Feudalism Reinstituted in Suckersland where One Man owns Everything

Richardsville, Suckersland--Economic inequality in Suckersland has reached its ultimate end point: a single man in that nation owns absolutely everything and all of the other inhabitants are broke or in debt. Lord Richard, the man who literally h...

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Funny story: OK For Chemical-Oil-Coal Giants To Destroy W. Va

OK For Chemical-Oil-Coal Giants To Destroy W. Va

A chemical spill has left 300.000 residents without water for days and most still don't believe state authorities who say it's now safe to turn on the tap water. But at a fundraiser held last night, in Washington, D.C., sponsored by "The Coalition...

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Funny story: Weed-smoking Potlandians debate whether to legalize Nicotine and Alcohol

Weed-smoking Potlandians debate whether to legalize Nicotine and Alcohol

CANNABISTOWN, PO--In Potlandia, marijuana is legal for recreational purposes and is commonly smoked by nearly all of the adult citizens of that country, while alcohol and nicotine are banned. But the alcohol and tobacco industries regard Potlandia's...

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Funny story: Starving Artists call the Internet a vast Communist Conspiracy

Starving Artists call the Internet a vast Communist Conspiracy

Dateline: WASHINGTON--Millions of underemployed or out-of-work citizens of Canada, Europe, and the United States took to the streets to protest the internet as a vast communist conspiracy. Moreover, many Westerners are flocking to China, praising its...

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