Taxidermist To The Stars Claims He Mounted Pelosi And Biden

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 9 May 2019

image for Taxidermist To The Stars Claims He Mounted Pelosi And Biden
Horse Manure

BILLINGSGATE POST: Taxidermist to the Stars, Slim Everdingle, a legend in Hollywood for his use of life-like, non-Botox treatments to extend the careers of past and present stars such as Trigger, Barbra Streisand and Arnold Schwarzenegger, confessed to The View’s Whoopi Goldberg that he had also recently mounted both House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Vice President Joe Biden.

Both Pelosi, whose deeply creviced face showed evidence of her battle with TPWKS (Terminal Persimmon Winter Kill Syndrome), and Biden, recovering from a partial lobotomy that had reduced his public appearances to sniffing the hair of unsuspecting women, were successfully mounted by Everdingle, and both cite Slim as being instrumental in extending their political careers.

Although Pelosi’s eyes still look like two piss-holes in a snow bank, and Joe Biden’s countenance appears to be as mobile as George Washington’s on Mount Rushmore, both have nothing but praise for the reclusive taxidermist, who some say himself will be mounted on Hollywood Boulevard’s Walk of Fame, a place where stars are remembered for outstanding achievement.

Dirty: “Congrats Dude. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more