BILLINGSGATE POST: Yielding to pressure from within the Democrat Party to address environmental issues, former Vice President Joe Biden told a gathering of Ottumwa, Iowa hog farmers that if elected, he would reduce the size of Americans by 50%.
“In World War II, the average height of our soldiers was 5 feet 8 inches. Now it is over 6 feet. Just look at the giants in the NFL and NBA. Our planet cannot support these humongous carnivores. I will support legislation to limit the height of future generations to a maximum of 3 feet; a 50% reduction.”
Hog farmer Slim Everdingle: “What about my hawgs? They gonna be taller than those dudes.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. And better looking.”
Biden: “Theoretically, If we could cut everything in half, our planet’s resources would last twice as long.”
Slim: “Sounds good on paper. How ya gonna do that?”
Biden: “First, we have to ease the immigration laws limiting the number of Pygmy dwarves allowed in the country. Then we have to prohibit anyone taller than 3 feet from mating.”
Slim: “What about my hawgs? Who’s gonna eat all those pork chops?
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. You can hang them around the necks of all those ugly liberals so their dogs will play with them.”
Biden: “Now you're talking.”