Biden To Reduce Size Of Americans By 50% If Elected: Pygmy Dwarves New Standard

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 17 June 2019

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Pygmy Dwarf

BILLINGSGATE POST: Yielding to pressure from within the Democrat Party to address environmental issues, former Vice President Joe Biden told a gathering of Ottumwa, Iowa hog farmers that if elected, he would reduce the size of Americans by 50%.

“In World War II, the average height of our soldiers was 5 feet 8 inches. Now it is over 6 feet. Just look at the giants in the NFL and NBA. Our planet cannot support these humongous carnivores. I will support legislation to limit the height of future generations to a maximum of 3 feet; a 50% reduction.”

Hog farmer Slim Everdingle: “What about my hawgs? They gonna be taller than those dudes.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. And better looking.”

Biden: “Theoretically, If we could cut everything in half, our planet’s resources would last twice as long.”

Slim: “Sounds good on paper. How ya gonna do that?”

Biden: “First, we have to ease the immigration laws limiting the number of Pygmy dwarves allowed in the country. Then we have to prohibit anyone taller than 3 feet from mating.”

Slim: “What about my hawgs? Who’s gonna eat all those pork chops?

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. You can hang them around the necks of all those ugly liberals so their dogs will play with them.”

Biden: “Now you're talking.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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