Joe Biden’s First Words After Having Head Cryogenically Frozen

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 10 May 2019

image for Joe Biden’s First Words After Having Head Cryogenically Frozen

BILLINGSGATE POST: “I’m trying to think, but nothing happens.” The first words of Joe Biden upon recovering from having his head cryogenically frozen at minus 321 degrees Fahrenheit were little different than before he had the experimental treatment.

This is the same procedure that Baseball Hall of Famer, Ted Williams, underwent so that he might achieve immortality. The Splendid Splinter died July 5, 2002. His body was then taken by private jet to Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Ariz. There, Williams' body was separated from his head in a procedure called neuroseparation.

The operation was completed, and Williams' head and body were preserved separately. After being frozen at minus 321 degrees Fahrenheit, his head was stored in a steel can filled with liquid nitrogen. After being shaved, then drilled with holes, the head was then mounted on a Bumblebee tuna can, and used for target practice by his caretakers.

When Vice President Biden was first interviewed by Morning Joe, whose brain was also somewhat addled, it had been only a few days since Biden’s brain had reached room temperature. Asked if he recalled the name of the President he served under, he cautiously replied:

“I’m trying to think, but nothing happens.”

Slim: “What’s new with that?”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. You nailed it.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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