Bolton to secrete himself in drone over The Strait of Hormuz

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 21 June 2019

image for Bolton to secrete himself in drone over The Strait of Hormuz
Imagery on Mr. Bolton's back pack and parachute paraphernalia

Early yesterday Iran brought down a US RQ-Global Hawk drone.

The size of a passenger airliner, this drone was surveiling in Kouhmobaruk air space near the Strait of Hormuz.

It had released its scouring eye for any signs of mines, lower-flying drone attacks, or just any damn thing the enemy might be up to.

Whether the drone was in international air space or within Iranian territory at the time, is in dispute.

Nevertheless, a retaliatory strike underway by Thursday evening was suddenly cancelled by Mr. Trump.

But now to a new response.

Mr. Bolton will secrete himself in one of these otherwise unmanned mechanical beasts that resemble the prehistoric flying Rampho monster.

He will man telescopic and photographic equipment, maps spread beneath his knees and crouching with his equipment near a window.

He will also control the Hawk to zig-zag precisely at the demarcation line for Iranian territory and international waters.

At an appropriate zag, with the Hawk about to pass into Iranian space, he will parachute into international waters, Hawk shot down seconds later.

This will indisputably prove Iran as aggressor, since Mr. Bolton will descend into The Strait of Hormuz (picked up by the USS John McCain).

Or, if he remains aboard the Hawk when it is shot down, he will parachute into Iranian territory and “do a Francis Gary Powers.”

Mr. Powers, a boyhood hero for Mr. Bolton, was shot down over Soviet Russia in a reconnaissance U2 aircraft in 1960 and imprisoned for two years.

Asked at a news conference what could possibly go wrong, Mr. Bolton replied:

“Well, I will have my platform heel supports and knee braces.”

A White House spokesperson has reported this plan replaces an earlier idea to drop Mr. Bolton into Venezuela.

Mr. Bolton would have been away rousing support for Mr. Guaido, the US representative for new leadership in that country, and unable to advise Mr. Trump.

But, the White House source continued, dropping him either into the Strait of Hormuz or Iran itself will even more effectively stop all his continued ragging and nagging for war with Iran on the President’s ear.

Reporters: “Whaaat?”

The White House:

“Sorry, we misspoke. We meant to say this heroic action by Mr. Bolton will stop all this continued talk of false flagging on the President’s ear.”

“And we can get back to doing rallies and a lot of talk for the 2020 campaign.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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