After a lifetime peppered with foolish decisions and boatloads of wasted time, Ben Haldwell of Nashville, Tennessee, vowed to be stupid no nore. "No regrets, but it's time to try something different," sad Ben, who, among other things, had often ex...
Downtown Burbank, CA—Kenny's Parking Lots, the owner of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) Magazine (formerly Mad Hatter Magazine, which was published by the Red Hats Society of Displaced Social Matrons) is officially out of business. Well, almo...
Guard Dog News has learned Mr. Trump’s recent trip to meet Kim Jong Un in Korea's Demilitarized Zone had its exotic side. In a surprise development, Mr. Trump stopped off yesterday on the way home from the G20 Summit to visit Mr. Kim. Mr. Trump...
Early yesterday Iran brought down a US RQ-Global Hawk drone. The size of a passenger airliner, this drone was surveiling in Kouhmobaruk air space near the Strait of Hormuz. It had released its scouring eye for any signs of mines, lower-flying...
Once again the chant of “war with Iran, war with Iran, war with Iran” has besieged the US landscape. Communities throughout America can expect the Whirling Dwarfs Parade with their incessant chanting to sweep through town all summer long. Senat...
Outback, New Zealand -- Jacinda Ardamn, Prime Minister of New Zealand (wherever that is), admitted she's “confused” about the world. Any ideas or policies that do not accord with her own nation's backward notions are “beyond my understanding,” she...
Profits at old gits pub chain JD Wetherspoon fell 19% in the six months to the end of January. Wetherspoon's weirdo chairman, Brexit cheerleader Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hairstyle of the gods, immediately announced that it...
Diane Abbott, the popular Labour MP, and all-round entertainer, is to be the new host of teatime TV gameshow, 'Countdown', it has been revealed. 'Countdown' is a British game show broadcast on Channel 4, involving word and number puzzles. It was p...
Following a recent speech in Egypt claiming the US as “a force for good,” US Secretary of State, Mr. Mike Pompeo, has said he is proud to support a new line of clothing. This new line has already been recognized all over the globe for its glisteni...
* There was forgetfulness aplenty this morning, when a man in Birmingham awoke knowing that there was something he should remember about today, but he just couldn't remember what it was. Joe Jaynes, 29, had that instinctive twinge in the pit of hi...
WFFC (World Federation of Fed Up Citizens) reps have come forward to evaluate the current roadshow out of Washington: “The Collusion Blues Festival.” This performance has been touring the globe on the theme Trump is controlled by Vladimir Putin, w...
Following recommendations of the WFFC, which allies itself with the UN and the ICC, the leaders of these two disputing countries, Mr. Trump of the US, and Mr. Rouhani of Iran, have decided on personal resolution. The WFFC (World Federation of Fed...
Last week Mr. Biden stated that as “a damn good athlete” he would be inclined to invite Mr. Trump out behind the high school gym—if they were still in high school. Mr. Trump immediately responded with Mr. Biden as “weak” in various ways and that i...
Donald J. Trump has proposed to change the name of the country to the United States of Covfefe. His mysterious tweet that trended on social media was aplarently alluding to this bizarre event. We asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders about why he would do...
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