Bolton and Pompeo with possible new executive positions in the nuclear war shelter business

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 16 May 2019

image for Bolton and Pompeo with possible new executive positions in the nuclear war shelter business
Underground swimming facilities also available

Insiders are currently whispering that Mr. Bolton and Mr. Pompeo just might be on the chopping block.

Washington has been reporting Mr. Trump needed to air out that he was not totally pleased with recent performance.

Mr. Bolton may be gone soon, although the president recently said, “John is a good man, but sometimes I need to temper him.”

Mr. Pompeo was also caught midway through a hefty roast beef sandwich with pickles on, having an unsavory attitude in his recent Russian ventures.

Entering a country and lecturing top ministers on not interfering in US elections is somewhat like pointing out the stain on your host's hanky.

Fortunately, Mr. Pompeo’s Russian counterparts did not in turn request the US stop interfering in elections as with the Ukraine.

Or Venezuela. And, as far as that goes, general meddling and interference, with a regime change here and there.

Mr. Trump’s “image-meter” started beeping recently on red zones connected to lowering counts re his personal charisma.

And besides that he was feeling himself in a corner getting smaller.

"War? Now how will that play in 2020?"

Bolton and Pompeo are reported considering offering their resignations.

One additional factor. Both have been offered lucrative positions with USPS (Underground Services Protection Systems) Corporation.

USPS is an ultimate protection service specializing in nuclear bomb war shelters and villa services.

Prices vary in a wide range to accommodate modest salaries to the most wealthy, with the essential “kit” holding to basic sales principles.

Whether Mr. Bolton and Mr. Pompeo had been eyeing these positions for some time, and prior to their advancement to National Security Advisor and Secretary of State, is not known.

First, the shelter must be located at the bottom of a very deep hole.

(A customer could begin digging the hole him/herself. Or excavation services add on to the base price.)

The size of the “villa” at the bottom of this pit, which descends into the subsurface of the earth as with some burrowing creatures, varies according to model number purchased.

USPS also partners with USVS (Underground Stairwell Elevator Services), featuring an elevator style stair-system (or lift) in the event of visits back to Earth’s Surface.

USPS works closely with Amazon to facilitate sales and delivery.

In fact, Amazon has guaranteed air drops of everything you need so that you never have to leave your nuclear war protection shelter again.

Major credit cards accepted.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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