New Zealand Prime Minister admits she's "stumped"

Written by Gee Pee

Wednesday, 15 May 2019

image for New Zealand Prime Minister admits she's "stumped"
New Zealand PM doesn't understand why US won't ban guns

Outback, New Zealand -- Jacinda Ardamn, Prime Minister of New Zealand (wherever that is), admitted she's “confused” about the world.

Any ideas or policies that do not accord with her own nation's backward notions are “beyond my understanding,” she confessed.

Ardamn forced a gun-control law down the throats of New Zealanders (a species, it is believed, related to walruses) after a gun killed 51 of her nation's “finest specimens.”

“Why the United States won't pass similar legislation is beyond me,” Ardamn whined. “More of their guns kill more people every year than exist in my country, and still, Americans do nothing.”

She said guns like the AR-15 and the AK-47 are “especially vicious.” The latter weapon, it was pointed out to Her Prime Ministership, is a Russian gun.

“It's in collusion with President Trump,” Ardamn said. “At least, that's my understanding.”

She insists the “rest of the world” can learn from the example her country has set concerning gun control: “Wear a condom.”

What would the use of a condom accomplish?

“It's hard to tamp bullets down the barrel of a blunderbuss when the barrel is covered with a latex prophylactic,” she said. That's the very reason that her country's gun-control laws require that a package of condoms be sold with every rifle, revolver, or water pistol.

How can a water pistol “kill people”?

“I don't understand the question,” Ardamn said.

President Trump has joined other world leaders in calling for her quarantine. “We have to stop the spread of stupidity,” he said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more