Trump Wants Mosque Removed Ahead Of London Visit

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 13 May 2019

image for Trump Wants Mosque Removed Ahead Of London Visit
Trump fell for internet hoax that minaret deployed bat-shaped espionage drones

London, UK - The Trump Administration has told Theresa May to get rid of London’s iconic Park Mosque because its 200ft tall minaret ‘could be used for telescopic espionage’ a White House spokesperson said today.

The Grade II-listed edifice sits just yards away from the American Ambassador’s residence which will be hosting Trump’s visit in June.

Its gold leaf-burnished dome is home to thousands of daily worshippers - and that’s something that irks the President ‘on security grounds’.

This morning, in a conference call with the British Prime Minister, the president stressed the need for a Mexican-Wall-style partition around the religious building with Brits footing the bill 50/50.

However, UK diplomats aren’t having any of this, and describe his fears as ‘irrational’ - and probably rooted in a huge 2018 internet hoax.

This claimed the imposing Fred Gibbert-designed minaret was the launchpad for a swarm of wifi-enabled pipistrelle-shaped drones deployed to plant internet malware in the US ambassador’s residence.

Speaking to reporters this morning, the mosque’s imam said that a colony of pregnant pipistrelles had maternity-roosted in its eaves last summer, triggering the eruption of internet drone spoofs.

“The previous year, we had several hundred lesser-spotted Regents Park fruit bats here,” the imam related.

“We call them our Michelle Colony after the previous president’s wife accidentally let out a few from the ambassador’s steam room.”

A video of the roost is available here.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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