Monroe County, Wisconsin. Feeling somewhat concerned that his parents may have been a couple of unenlightened douchebags who partied too much in college while screwing everything in sight before getting married, settling down, and then self-righteously promoting his educational needs in school, 11-year-old Nathan Tippery sat his mother and father down at the kitchen table last Thursday and began questioning the integrity of their decision to decide what's best for his future.
Expressing his discontent with the fact that they were simply molding him into a self-entitled weakling like the rest of his idiotic, hopeless, and extremely stupid classmates, Nathan demanded to know why his parents were constantly harassing and overwhelming his already burned-out teachers to cater to his every single need.
Finding himself highly disappointed with the lack of independent thinking and self-control that led to his birth in the first place, Nathan demanded that Mr. and Mrs. Tippery apologize for placing undue amounts of stress and pressure on the individuals who were simply trying to teach their subjects within the noisy and disturbing institution of mind-control that he attends on Monday through Friday of every week.
Without yelling at them about the fact that their liberal-minded university professors would have carelessly supported their original plans to have an abortion, Nathan simply and calmly stated that he was upset with the massive hypocrisy that was being displayed at parent-teacher conferences during which his academic progress is being needlessly defended.