Disagreement Over Possible Curriculum Change Results In Brutal Violence

Funny story written by Wesley Janson

Friday, 22 March 2019

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Winneshiek County, Iowa. A horrible fight broke out on the third floor of the administrative building at Loran College last Thursday at 5:35 pm when two education professors had a disagreement concerning the possible addition of another "Brain-Based Learning" course to the graduate curriculum.

Arguing that scientific research has not developed far enough to warrant the addition of another class on the subject, Professor Robert Neilson, 64, became psychotically angry at Professor Kurt Beckman, 62, who remained adamant in his stance that graduate students need more training on the subject before they become fully certified.

Unable to contain his ferocious and barbaric rage, Neilson stormed across the conference room and drove his fist into Beckman's stomach.

Beckman (still seated after the hideous blow) responded by picking up a 550-page 'Educational Psychology' textbook and smashing Neilson in the face with it.

Much to the chagrin of the others in the room, Mr. Neilson then grabbed Mr. Beckman's beard, pulled him out of his chair, kicked him in the balls, and bounced his head off the conference table.

Amazingly still conscious, Beckman used all of his remaining strength and energy to push the overweight Neilson through the door of the room as the horrendous fight spilled out into the hallway.

With other teachers and students walking by, Neilson kept trying to strangle Beckman while calling him a "fucking stupid piece of shit!"

When the opportune moment arrived, Beckman used his right elbow to break Neilson's nose before successfully throwing a 'left hook' into the 64-year-old's jaw.

With Neilson completely stunned, Beckman spit in his face, called him a "bitch," and then pushed him down a nearby flight of stairs before walking back to the conference room and finishing his proposal that room #225 in Yeoman Hall be used for a new class on cognitive and social development during the 2019-2020 school year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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