Flat Earth Theory To Be Taught In Schools

Tuesday, 7 May 2019

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Geoff Flat of the Flat Earth Society says the Earth is flat because he says it is

In Burger County, Alabama, the local authority has voted to allow "flat Earth" theory to be taught in schools. The move was taken after pressure from the public, with many criticising the education system for "brainwashing" their children with notions of a round Earth. Other theories that will now be taught include that the Moon landings were a hallucination brought on by vaccination, that JFK was killed by chemtrails, and that Elvis was resurrected on 9/11.

Teachers unions are angry at the move, but some teachers thought it a step in the right direction. Geoff Tard said that it was difficult to teach science and history sometimes. He explained, "The wordses in the books are too longy for me, so I like to keeps it simple."

Other teachers thought that it wasn't up to them to teach children what was true and what wasn't. Washington Geoffroyetta said that was the parents' job. "There are lots of theories - the theory of gravity, the theory of evolution, phlogiston theory, bald President theory, flat Earth theory. They can't all be right, but they can't all be wrong neithers. So we should teach them all and let the kids decide. I mean, how can we know which one is right? There's just no way to know."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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