Alec Baldwin to run for president; hires security guards

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 9 April 2019

image for Alec Baldwin to run for president; hires security guards
Trump versus Trump?

Following his tweets on possibly running for president in 2020, Alec Baldwin has formally announced his candidacy.

The actor, mostly renowned for his impression of Mr. Trump in the past two years, stated: “It would be so easy. So easy.”

Political and psychiatric analysis following, however, suggests some difficulties.

Experts note that one problem Mr. Baldwin faces is that his role has become so ingrained into him he has in effect become Trump.

For example, the language “so easy, so easy,” is an echo of Mr. Trump’s unique idiom.

Mr. Baldwin's tendency to have become Mr. Trump was then reinforced by a further tweet:

“Look, this man is a moron, all right? Taking him down would be beautiful.”

Medical experts also note Mr. Baldwin’s hair has permanently turned blond plus his face increasingly resembles Trump’s.


“It sometimes happens that professional imitators actually turn in to the target role—voiding his or her own previous sense of identity.”

This behavior is similar to any ordinary person with low self-esteem who imitates somebody else—especially applicable to insecure teenagers—thereby becoming another entity.

Anonymous acquaintances of Mr. Baldwin have said his mood and tone, his walking style, have led them to think he has “lost himself.”

They refer to the classic Robert Louis Stevenson story “Jekyll and Hyde” in which the evil Hyde takes over Dr. Jekyll, who disappears into silence inside his alter-ego.

Waiters have reported that Mr. Baldwin now has "the Trump scowl every time we approach the table."

Mr. Baldwin’s hiring a security service is another sign. Tough men possibly connected to the underground often suggest a security service is necessary.

As with Mr. Trump today stating Mr. Baldwin has been free of “retribution.”

Lightweight Surveys has immediately swung into action on this matter of Trump versus Baldwin in the upcoming 2020 presidential election.

Mr. Trump currently has a disapproval rate of 52% versus approval at 42%.

Mr. Baldwin has a disapproval rate of 54% versus approval at 14%.

(Remaining percentages report yawning and unable to make a decision.)

Some Democrats are, however, reported enthused.

“It’s still early,” said Senator Schumer. “But running Trump against Trump? Brilliant! At least we'd get a tie out of it!”

Ms. Pelosi, “Well, I don’t know. It would seem one Trump is enough. Plus, would Mr. Baldwin come through on our support for taking over Venezuela, Iran, etc. etc.?”

Mr. Baldwin has answered this last:

“Of course! Somebody give me a five minute lesson!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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