Alex Jones to Head the Office of Science and Technology Policy

Written by C/L

Thursday, 4 April 2019

image for Alex Jones to Head the Office of Science and Technology Policy

President Trump has appointed Alex Jones Director of The Office of Science and Technology Policy.

Trump has pointed to Jones', "fine and strongly-beautiful work, on informing the public about science matters."

Jones has sounded the alarm over, "real environmental threats to the public and the world at large." Such as: chemicals in the water turning frogs gay, and the government's possession of weather weapons."(source:MSNBC)

"Alex is so wonderful, and the strongest, smartest person. I've listened to him for years, and he's made me so impressed, and other stuff," said Trump.

Trump feels that Jones possesses the right degree of "rage" and "ignorance" to break through the morass of all that "Ivy-league, learning-bullsh*t!"

Trump is also going to have Jones start up a Science Instincts Institute, and a think-tank. "It will be bigly-huge!" said Trump. The Institute will be comprised of the most wealthy, stupid, corrupt, heartless, and psychotic individuals from all over the world.

The function of the Institute is simple; The members will publish the way reality "is", and then it will be automatically decreed as factual by the President.

President Trump has exuberant confidence that the institute will save the scientific community trillions of dollars by cutting out unnecessary and stupid experiments, and testing of theories.

"Finally, liberal assholes will have to accept alternative facts like: The Earth being flat. Jones is going to be bigly great," stated Trump.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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