Washington - (Rotters): The former FBI Director was fired by Donald Trump because a top secret KGB intelligence report named James Comey as the most likely next President of the United States.
Compiled by the heads of Russian, Chinese and Iranian intelligence the classified dossier rated Comey a shoo-in for a 2020 landslide - neatly blowing a hole in Donald Trump’s ass.
Documents seen by Spoof crime reporters confirm the intelligence which paints Putin as gobsmacked by Comey’s future role.
“We think the FBI’s predicted toppling of the notorious Trumpino Bambino Cartel (Who dat? Ed) propels him to stardom,” head of KGB intelligence DimEatery Pissov wrote on his website.
Donald Trump’s 306 votes from the electoral college may themselves be further proof.