BILLINGSGATE POST: The ancient Mayans only surviving leader, High Chief Hokum, announced from his office in the Yucatan that he will pay for Trump's wall on the border of the United States and Mexico in exchange for any human sacrifice rights forthcoming from the wall.
After months of negotiation between High Chief Hokum and Trump's son-in-law, Jared Kushner, Trump's promise that Mexico will pay for the wall has finally been validated. Always a supporter of Trump, Hokum had admitted under questioning that he had colluded with Trump by extending the end of the World by 8 years so that Trump could fulfill his two terms of office.
Upon subsequent questioned by Special Counsel Mueller's staff regarding his collusion, Hokum declared that when he helped make the original calendar forecasting the end of World upon the election of Hillary Clinton, he failed to factor in "leap years." Chief Hokum further explained that 5000 years ago, "leap year" had a totally different meaning to Mayans. That, he explained, was the year Mayan high priests made undesirables jump into a steaming volcano to offer sacrifice to the gods.
Upon further questioning, Hokum explained that with the advent of the Gregorian Calendar in 1582 by Pope Gregory XIII, the suppression of 10 days was indicated until the year 1700. After that, 11 days would be suppressed with the restriction that any centesimal year divisible by 400 would be a leap year. Denying that he had lied in his previous testimony, Chief Hokum blamed any mistakes in his testimony were due to "new math."
Vehemently denying that the revision had anything to do with pressure by Hannity and FOX NEWS, Chief Hokum stated "that it is just a coincidence that the World didn't end when Trump was elected."
Chief Hokum: "Hecha annualis prevaricatus." Translated: The calendar don't lie.