Cesar Sayoc Innocent Until Proven Guilty - Trump

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 26 October 2018

image for Cesar Sayoc Innocent Until Proven Guilty - Trump
Let's get all the 'facts' first...

Cesar Sayoc, the man who police have arrested in connection with the mail bombs sent to several influential people in the US, is, according to President Donald Trump:

"Innocent until proven guilty."

Two of the mail bombs were sent to ex-president, Barack Obama, and film star Robert De Niro, but failed to explode. It's the 'second time Mr De Niro has been the target of bombers, after he was injured in a car bomb attack during the making of 'Casino' in 1995. Mr Trump told reporters:

"There's no room for political violence in our society, even though this country DEPENDS on peddling violence abroad."

Despite this, he went on:

"This man has got to understand he just CANNOT go around sending bombs to people both he and I don't like. There are other ways to go about this sort of thing. He should have come to see me first."

Mr Sayoc, 56, was arrested in Plantation, Florida, after the FBI were able to identify their suspect from DNA samples, when a fingerprint was found on one of the packages.

President Trump concluded by saying:

"The images on his van were extremely disturbing. I especially liked the one of the bullseye on Hillary Clinton's face. I think I'm going to need to have a word with Kavanaugh about this guy."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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