56-year old Cesar Sayoc Jr. was arrested by federal officials today for failing to make bombs that can explode on Democrats, and for misspelling the name of an elected official. If convicted, Sayoc faces up to three years imprisonment for the non-exploding bombs, and 15-25 years for forgetting the "c" in Schultz.
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz was not available for comment, but was last seen buying a notebook and a pen at Walgreen's. Rumor has it that she was mumbling "'Schultz' is an easy name to spell. That loser will fill this notebook with writing 'Goddess Debbie Wasserman-Schultz' on every line of every page, correctly."