Khashoggi Murder: Crown Prince Confirms Punishment of "Culprits"

Funny story written by Paxton Quigley

Thursday, 25 October 2018

image for Khashoggi Murder: Crown Prince Confirms Punishment of "Culprits"
Central Riyadh Execution Square

The Saudi crown prince, Mohammed bin Salman, has confirmed that he is to punish all eighteen "culprits" responsible for the murder of writer Jamal Khashoggi in Turkey, and that arrangements have been made for their public beheadings on Friday, as is customary in its mediaeval "justice" system.

Mohammed bin Salman said, "the crime was painful to all Saudis," and he would never allow any rift with Turkey.

Among those to be executed is Major General Ahmed al-Assiri, who is a high-ranking adviser to the prince, and who is willing, apparently, to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect his master's reputation.

The Saudi government has previously denied accusations that the prince, the de facto ruler, had a role in the killing, and has blamed the murder on "rogue agents", including the Major General.

Earlier this week, when asked who was responsible, US "President" Donald J. Trump had said: "Well, the prince is running things....and so if anybody were going to be, it would be him."

When questioned again today, Mr Trump said "We're glad to draw a line under this unpleasantness. It's obvious that the crown prince is innocent of these accusations, and we can now continue with our multi-billion dollar business contracts with heads held high."

Lickspittle UK Foreign Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, agreed with the president's sentiments, while European Union leaders were said to be apoplectic that their intelligence was being insulted by further political murders in the Saudi ruler's despotic reign.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more