In a bold new venture to tame North Korea and bring it to its senses, Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina has a plan to make that territory pay attention.
Mr. Graham is about to be shot out of a cannon clear across North Korea to the other side, performing “a noble service en route,” according to The New York Times.
In flight, Mr. Graham will hold a dynamic, glowing, electronic message for the entire Korean peninsula to observe:
Dig yourself deep into holes with your earth kit
Whatever is coming we think it’s worth it!
Launched from a staging area aboard an aircraft carrier on the western side of the peninsula, he will swiftly traverse the terrain and flutter down onto another aircraft waiting in eastern waters.
Mr. Graham explains that “the worth it principle” is based on all the aggravation North Korea is causing with its nuclear programs.
Its defiant posture is just too much for a super power to tolerate, with Mr. Graham's own version of "rocket man" certain to make this point.
Recent efforts by North Korea to move toward détente with South Korea, plus stating a willingness to negotiate, have not impressed Mr. Graham and the American military.
Mr. Graham is also using the “over there” principle on this North Korean matter.
He assures the press that whatever deaths and mayhem accrue from a US attack on North Korea, including potential disaster in surrounding regions, it will happen “over there”--not in the United States.
This assurance, he says, came right from President Trump himself.
Mr. Graham has already been busy preparing himself, including trimming his waist-line to fit into the cannon's main firing body.
Recently, a corner of Lake Michigan was chosen for a test cannon shot.
He soared across from Kenosha and landed at a pig farm near Grand Haven, but not into a mound of pig defecation, as was maintained earlier on FOX News.
“No, no, far from it,” again from the spokesperson.
In fact, Mr. Graham landed and sat on the porch with the farmer and his wife drinking coffee with doughnuts, and talking world politics.
Experts theorize all this action may signal Mr. Graham’s entry into the Presidential Election on the Republican Ticket for 2020.