Trump’s Good Friend Pecker Nixes Enquirer Playmate Affair Story

Funny story written by Jaki Treehorn

Wednesday, 21 February 2018

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Washington - According to David Pecker, owner of the most trusted and accurate news magazine in the country, National Enquirer, the recent story of an alleged affair between Donald Trump and Playboy Playmate Karen McDougal is "not credible". This explains why, after paying McDougal $150,000 for her story, the Enquirer decided not to publish it.

The story was originally set to appear in the widely respected newspaper on page 11 of the September issue last year. It would have been in between the blockbuster true articles titled "Proof Hillary and Bill Conspired with Space Aliens to Destroy America" on page 10 and "Kardashians in Wild Orgy with Entire Laker Team" on page 12. Another story deemed more believable by the Enquirer staff, entitled "Obama Financing Army of Muslim Terrorists to Cross Mexican Border Before Wall is Built" took it's place.

"We would have loved to run the McDougal story, but our crack quality control team, the best in the news business, determined right away that there is no way our great leader and my personal friend Donald Trump would ever have an affair with a beautiful celebrity, he is simply too busy making our country great again to be involved in this or any affair", said Pecker.

“Pecker is a good friend, the best friend”, tweeted Trump last evening, “I rely on my friend Pecker as much as possible, any great leader like myself needs to have a Pecker in their pocket to deal with the fake news out there”.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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