Palm Beach, FL--At his Mar-a-Lago Resort Donald Trump was awarded the Stable Genius Award, by its former recipient, Sarah Palin, at a ceremony attended by hundreds of Trump supporters who were there, purportedly, to Make America Smart Again.
On receiving the Stable Genius Award, President Trump gave a speech which, beginning in a measured tone as he welcomed the many paying customers to his Mar-a-Lago Resort, soon turned into a diatribe on how persecuted he, the President, was by the mainstream media and how he was going to change, single handedly, the libel laws in the US, after he calls a constitutional convention to revoke the First Amendment to the Constitution which, Mr. Trump further explained, was a conspiracy launched 250 years ago against the office that he won, in 2016, by millions of votes.
What follows is an excerpt from Mr. Trump's acceptance speech: "First, I'd like to begin by thanking Sarah and the panel of the Stable Genius Award, an award I could not have won without the help of myself, who has been a very, very incredible influence on me. Furthermore, I'd like to call out all those losers who did not contribute to me winning the Stable Genius Award--people like Sloppy Steve Bannon, formerly of the fake Breitbart News; Attack Dog Jake Tapper, may he and his network burn in hell; Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski, who is still recovering from a botched facelift she had last year; and finally, all of you haters who weren't a part of the plurality of millions of voters who put me, Stable Genius Donald J. Trump, in the office of the presidency in November of 2016, without the help or collusion of Russia. May all you losers, including Crooked Hillary, burn in hell!"
President Trump, at that point drooling and foaming at the mouth, was then led off stage by Chief of Staff John Kelly, who gave the President his cell phone and a Big Mac so he could sit on the toilet and spend the next few hours using his executive time to de-stress.