Miralamo, FL "President" Donald Trump has belatedly admitted to having met Michael Wolff, the man who spent over a year at the White House writing a book and who personally interviewed Trump for over three hours.
Donald explained: "I thought I had never met him until someone showed me his picture. I thought he was the Butler or something because he was always hanging around.
"I sat down and talked with him a few times because I thought he was asking me all these questions so he could better serve me as the White House Butler, bringing me cokes, polishing my big red button, y'know? I had no idea he wasn't part of the White House staff.
"I mean, he asked a lot of questions, but, then, everybody wants to find out more about me. Would you believe sometimes I will spend hours talking to the help about myself?"
Trump then wandered off down the hall of power cuddling the White House dog muttering, "I'm smart, soooo smart. Such a good guy, and so humble. You get me, don't you pooch, you're smart too, not like the rest of these bozos. Fake news. So sad."