Trump Proposes Ideological Purity Test

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Monday, 5 September 2016

image for Trump Proposes Ideological Purity Test

Donald Trump has proposed what analysts call an "ideological purity" test for those who would enter the U.S. as immigrants. Trump said in a statement, "In addition to screening out all members or sympathizers of terrorist groups, we must also screen out any who have hostile attitudes toward our country or its principles."

Today Steven Bannon, who Trump recently picked to be his campaign CEO disclosed the questions from the test that Trump would impose on immigrants. Bannon headed Breitbart News, the online news outlet was a forum for the "alt.right."

That group is composed of white racists, white nationalists and anti-Semites, Breitbart is noted for such comments as ""Blacks tend to possess poorer native judgment than members of better-educated groups. Thus they need stricter moral guidance from society."

In view of this, it is not surprising that Trump's questionnaire for immigrants, which seems to have been written by Bannon, reflects his views and those of Mr. Trump.

The test asks immigrants to agree of disagree with the following statements:

1. White Western Civilization is amazing and is superior to every other one.

2. We don't know if President Obama was born in America. It is probable that he is not a citizen of the U.S.

3. The Dali Lama is a very political old monk shuffling around in Gucci shoes.

4. Next to the right of liberty, is the ability of every American to pay as little to their workers as possible in order to maximize profits.

5. White is beautiful but white people are being subjected to an orchestrated eradication campaign.

6. Torture beyond waterboarding is a good concept supported by the Presbyterians and other Christians.

7. Unlimited power is something the President Of The United States should enjoy for the good of the Homeland and the security of its people. Security must always be chosen over freedom.

8. "Give me your tired, your huddled refuse of your teeming shore, send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me was probably written by an enemy of the United States and a Muslim sympathizer.

9. Killing the families of suspected terrorists is a great idea, although not as good as banning 1/3 of the world's population from entering the U.S.

10. Democracy as a form of government is overrated, as is the constitution. What America needs is a strong leader who will make America great again.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more