A hundred and thirty-four years is a long time, but when you say it again, and say to yourself that 134 years is the amount of time that Donald Trump's entire ancestral line has spent in the United States, we have to wonder: Is it long enough?...
"It's an outrage," said neoconservative congresswoman Nancy Hartwright of Oklahoma City regarding the dairy industry's practice of separating native-born baby cows from their American mothers shortly after birth. "This is something that should happen...
A source uninvolved with education has said that learning to speak English, is the "easiest thing in the world", and he doesn't really know what all the fuss is about. Dave Clever, a plumber, said: "Learning English wasn't difficult, it was a p...
BuzzFeed—Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was detained by ICE today at the US-Mexico border for allegedly helping a migrant and her infant when He was caught by border patrol agents offering them water and sustenance. Jesus, said a spokesman for ICE, w...
How to solve Immigration (and, by definition, all our other problems since they, too, stem from filthy foreigners). To say we have an immigration problem is an understatement. Not since Alexander wept because he had no worlds left to conquer, has...
Comtravening decades of American policy, President Donald Trump announced that the United States will recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Puerto Rico. "Just look at the palm trees and tell me these are not sister cities," said Trump. "I'm really...
Shamima Begum, the girl who left Bethnal Green in London in 2015 to join ISIS forces in Syria, when she was only 15 years old, and whose British citizenship was rescinded by the UK government, has arrived safely back in the country on a fake passport...
The recent furore surrounding a teenage psychopath refused entry into the UK for tearing up her passport and supporting swivel-eyed loonies, has reached fever pitch, with a number of senior politicians expressing their opinions, our Making-Up-Politic...
A longer than planned holiday in sunny Syria, which turned into 'matrimonial heaven', went pear-shaped after a teeny Brit girl fell head (he still had one) over heels in love with a Syrian Romeo and now she is demanding to be repatriated. UK immig...
Things grew rather heated in the ongoing dispute between Pope Francis and President Donald Trump regarding Trump's proposed border wall, bringing out lesser sides of both parties. The Pope chastised Trump for wanting to seize the historic La Lomit...
Washington - Fox News commentator, Tucker Carlson, admitted on-air to outraged viewers, that one of the violent crimes reported by the network involved a suspect actually born in the United States. “We have worked diligently to keep our viewers in...
It is the responsibility of the US Department of Homeland Security to uphold US Immigration policy, and to provide trained personnel to undertake that task. With this in mind, US Homeland Security Services would like to announce the need for addit...
President Donald Trump has expanded his plans for territorial protection, and, as well the southern border wall to restrict the movement of Mexicans, he has now proposed a wall on the Canadian border to do the same with Canucks. The border, known...
Police and immigration officials were called to a beach in Norfolk this morning, when a man was discovered only half-conscious, and wearing only a pair of lederhosen. He was soaking wet. The location for this momentous event was the seaside villag...
While the adage that the grass is always greener on the other side is commonly taken as a psychological misperception that we all most want that which we do not have, a groundbreaking new study from the Niels Bohr Institute of Quantum Physics recentl...
US Homeland Security has uncovered what it says is a plot to invade US territory by its neighbor, Mexico, and is taking "appropriate action" to thwart this. The 'evidence' has been provided from two sources: the first, from a captured Mexican sold...
The Queen's Christmas message to her subjects, traditionally broadcast on Christmas Day, will this year benefit from subtitles, in order to provide clarity for more of Britain's ethnic population. The subtitles will be in Urdu, Bengali, Gujarati a...
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