Written by Glenn Wilson

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

In a move that has been championed by the Obama administration, the United States White Male, specifically low to middle class, has been added to the endangered species list. The World Wildlife Fund said that as of this year the Whitigrious Malelopia or White Male, is ranked #100 on their list right behind the Mo Aardvark or Morbidly Obese Aardvark.

Obama has set his sites on this since becoming President, saying "we believe that the white man has become a thing of the past, so it is up to us to protect the few we have left."

The WWF based their ranking on the elimination of the White Male on television, specifically commercials. "It appears that the white male has been fazed out for gay or mixed couples", said Dick Itcherary.

Democratic front runner Hillary Clinton was quick to add, "we ought to let them be safe and free in society, but only after we have castrated them." When asked if she had anyone in mind she was quick to reply "no comment."

Black Lives Matter spokesman Nathanial "The Mule" Jenkins said that all lives should matter, as long as they are black or specifically non white.

The Club Rallying Against Class Kickbacks Eliminating Radical Societies, or CRACKER, has said this day was a long time coming. CRACKER spokesman Whitey Whiteman said, "We have come a long way towards achieving equality and we hope this is the start of a society where we can start getting reparations."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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