Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 6 May 2016

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BILLINGSGATE POST: After being taunted by a bare-chested, heavily tattooed dude wearing leather chaps and a flimsy pair of Fruit of the Loom ball-huggers, the Whip Woman could take no more. Not since her caged encounter with Lash LaRue had she been so incensed.

A dominatrix by trade, the Whip Woman had fought her way to the top, ultimately taking on clients who considered being water-boarded as just a preliminary hitch in their search for sexual equilibrium.

Noticeably missing from restrooms of any sex are the trademarks of her profession; whips, shackles and nut holders. That is all going to be changed when President Obama signs a new executive order mandating that "Dominatrix Restrooms" be provided by any state, city or government employer receiving tax money from Washington.

President Obama: "Gone are the days that grown men and women of all colors and creed have to be whipped and shackled in the privacy of their own bedrooms and torture chambers. From this day forward, any government employee who wishes to be humiliated while at work by their raving dominatrix boss shall be freed from the shackles of fear and propriety."

NOTE: Since Donald Trump has not yet been asked if he will repeal this law on the first day of his presidency, BILLINGSGATE has learned that one of his workplace mantras is: "Spare the whip and ruin the employee." BILLINGSGATE suggests that he build the wall before tackling this issue.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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