BILLINGSGATE POST: In the first chapter of her newly released book, Whips And Shackles In The Oval Office, the Whip Woman describes how she led the leader of the free world around the office on a leash.
A little background on the Whip Woman: Born to middle-class parents in the Bay area, her real name is Alexandra Whistle. Her elementary education was quite ordinary for a San Franciscan youngster. For twelve years she attended a convent school taught by The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence where she cultivated her penchant for whips. After graduating with honors, she went on to an elite finishing school; The Lash LaRue Institute, where she graduated Magna Cum Flagellate. After signing an exclusive contract with ACME Whip Corporation, she chose the name, "Whip Woman," and the rest is history.
There are 10 million stories in the Naked Oval Office. This is but one. An excerpt from Chapter 1:
"Humiliated by the Monica Lewinsky affair, the First Lady decided that Bubba needed professional help. Having witnessed the transformation of Anthony Weiner from a barking Pit Bull to a whining Dachshund, Huma suggested that Hillary call me for help."
"For the first of three sessions, I had a problem with the Secret Service agents who questioned me about my collection of whips and shackles that were part of my shtick. After being escorted into the Oval Office, I introduced myself to the president, and while he was checking out my boobs, I snapped a leash around his neck. After leading Bubba around his desk three times, I found him quite docile. Alarmed though when he started barking and concerned that he might develop Kennel Cough, I brought out the whips and shackles. Scurrying under his desk like a miserable cur, I knew I had a problem."
** In the next chapter, the Whip Woman describes the ordeal of having to call in the Dog Whisperer in order to get little Bubba out from under the desk.