In what must be the most shockingly-horrifying news imaginable for some people in the United States of America, it has, this morning, been reported with great sadness, that an Illinois road cleaning operative, Don Trump, has been killed in a horrific road accident whilst minding his own business.
The accident happened as Trump, 69, was on duty near the Sheffield Commons Shopping Center in Chicago yesterday morning. A fourteen-wheel truck mowed him down so comprehensively, that the only way Trump could be identified was from the handle of his broken sweeping brush, issue number 443.
Trump, 69, had worked in the same job sweeping the gutters for more than 50 years, had never missed a day off work through sickness, had never left a dog turd undealt with, and was loved by motorists and pedestrians alike.
Police are interviewing the driver of the rig, one Jesus Velasquez, originally from Mexico, a resident in the USA for just three months.
*The death of this token roadsweeper is in no way connected to the businessman, politician, television personality, author, and candidate for the Republican nomination for President of the United States in the 2016 election whose election to the White House would, more than likely, make a laughing stock of the entire nation.