Coming off what he describes as a "huge success" in Trump University, Donald Trump held a ribbon cutting ceremony inaugurating his next education venture, "Trump Madrasa," and describes it as "a fabulous initiative" to have muslims self-identify and immediately be banned from entry into the United States.
Regarding the staff selection, a Trump bellowed, "We're going to be picking the best Imams, they're great with that Koran thing, they're also experts in Sharia law. It's going to be just terrific." He further claims he hand picked the clerics from the best mosques all across the middle east.
Many have suggested that Trump will be unable to execute such a task given his blunt statements towards the muslim population, and his previous dismissing of nuances of the faith. He responded, "I know enough, ok? In Islam they say they have the five pillars, and when it comes to classy, gaudy, monstrous pillars, no one is better than me." He continued, "They also say it means submission, all those 98% favorable ratings for Trump University? That was submission"
Madrasas have historically included prayer services as part of their curriculum, when asked if his current supporters would support such activities, he responded, "We're gonna be doing so much praying, people are gonna get bored with all the praying, and if anyone asks what the noise is - I'll just say its me imitating Ted Cruz's wife wiping up blood coming out of Megan Kelly's whatever and feeding it to Ben Carson's kid."
When probed about the pending lawsuit for Trump University, in which several students have complained of fraud, and referred to Mr. Trump as a "con man," Trump summarily dismissed those assertions and said, "That's a civil case, and nothing about these people are civil, if students of my madrasa give me any trouble, I'll make them pay more than Paul Ryan. Believe me."