Secret Legislative Action Regarding Firecracker Purchases

Written by Areone777

Saturday, 4 July 2015

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The American government has just taken another step in the fight to identify homegrown terrorists. In the wake of such events as the Charleston Shootings, the lawmakers on Capitol Hill have taken another step to fighting this growing epidemic.

In a secret meeting between President Obama, CIA, FBI, and Homeland Security heads of operations, a legislative action was signed into law by President Obama allowing the above mentioned organizations to monitor the sale of Fourth of July fireworks to help identify potential homegrown terrorists in hopes of preventing future mass murders.

The specifics of the legislative action say that the purchase of specific fireworks are precursors to future terroristic activities. Those who purchase bricks of firecrackers such as Black Cats and Red Devils, especially in large quantities, will be closely watched.

Similar purchases of M-60 and M-1000 firecrackers, again especially in large quantities, will give the CIA, FBI, and Homeland Security grounds to investigate prior financial records, criminal records even if they have been sealed, expunged, or dismissed, as well as if the purchaser is in ownership of firearms.

If the purchaser is found to be in ownership of firearms, it will prompt an even deeper investigation including computer histories and private organizations the purchaser belongs to. This information will then be forwarded to the local police identifying the purchaser as a person of interest in regards to national security which will give local police the right to detain the purchaser should the local police feel the need to.

The CIA, FBI, Homeland Security, and President Obama hope that this legislative action will help in identifying at risk individuals and work to prevent future mass murders.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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