Plebes, Prudes, and Pimps Take Plebescite WIRED STREET JOURNAL REPORTER: KR SCHWARTZ DATELINE: Washington D.C. January 24th, 2019 (a day that will live in infamy) In a paean to impotence, the United States Senate voted on two separate bil...
NEW SHEOTH, THE SHIVERING ISLES – Sheogorath, the Daedric Prince of Madness, invited news reporters from MSNBC, CNN, CBS, ABC, Comedy Central, TBS, HBO, The Onion, and The Spoof to attend a press conference in New Sheoth, Sheogorath's home in the Shivering Isles. According to Tamriel lore, Sheogorath has spent countless millennia interfering with the lives of mortals, with acts ranging from mak...
The JASTA (Justice Against Sponsors of Terrorism Act) legislation has moved rapidly ahead, then swerved and come to a screeching halt with three flat tires. This legislation is intended to bring to account the role of Saudi Arabia in the 9/11 att...
A new law which became effective today makes it compulsory for all Australian adults to consume more alcohol. All adult citizens must now drink at least two litres of alcohol per day. The quota can be made up through the consumption of alcohol drinks...
The American government has just taken another step in the fight to identify homegrown terrorists. In the wake of such events as the Charleston Shootings, the lawmakers on Capitol Hill have taken another step to fighting this growing epidemic. In...
Lincoln, Nebraska - Despite the fact that Governor Pete Ricketts' veto to repeal the death penalty was overridden by Nebraskan State Senators, Ricketts has promised to continue with executions. In his first attempt, he made a deal with an undergr...
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 - House Republicans today announced their intention to fully support the Freedom From Wages Act. "This is a very important piece of legislation," said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va), "and one that will finally free...
State representatives of North Carolina have introduced a bill that, if passed, would "clarify" an already existing state law to prohibit the display of butt cracks. The proposed legislation, House Bill (_!_), would make it a Class Preparation H f...
Pubs across the UK have already installed disabled toilets to accompany their ladies and gents (or stags and does, bulls and cows or rams and ewes depending on the name of the pub). Many pubs have voluntarily installed baby changing facilities. Now n...
Washington (SAPP) - To stop a mounting surge of complaints against the Transportation Security Agency (TSA), Congressman Westley Guilder (R-Texas) has introduced House Bill 1202 that would change the way TSA screeners handle passengers entering into...
It will soon be against the law to wear the colour red whilst working in a call centre. Additionally, any red that is present in a call centre will have to be removed by the company running the call centre. "It is important that we get this done q...
Roger Brownloaf, a health and safety inspector from Dudley, could hardly believe his eyes last Monday. For when he turned on his computer he found an email in his inbox telling him that he was suspended from active duties...because of a breach of hea...
SNP leader Alex Salmond is set to announce a major new income generating measure as his first action since his party's landslide election victory last week. The First Minister is to announce what has already been identified as anti English legisl...
A woman in the South of France has been detained by police after being caught smiling in a Marseilles street. France is the first country to pass legislation prohibiting anyone from "facially expressing positive thoughts" in public. The Frenc...
Washington, D.C. - America has fallen behind. No, not in education, healthcare or quality of life. The US is now the second most violent country in the world. So, who is the most violent? The answer is a bit surprising. Would you believe Luxembo...
WASHINGTON, DC - After extensive discussion on the Health Care Bill, Harry Reid has announced that "everything everyone wants" will be in the final legislation. By using "triggers" and vague nonexistent government positions and committees to dete...
Have you ever been in the pub and the man next to you, who you don't know, starts a conversation? You only went in to get away from the wife or to avoid doing that DIY job she's been pestering you about. A quiet uninterrupted pint is what's requi...
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