WASHINGTON D.C. -- Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz turned to the ancient words of Og the Cro-Magnon Thursday on the Senate floor to denounce President Obama's planned actions that are expected to grant legal status to millions of illegal immigrants in the country.
Cruz invoked the words of the troglodyte philosopher directed more than 40,000 years ago to Cog, an invading early human who wanted shelter in Og's cave but didn't want to fill out the necessary paperwork or undergo the proper background checks for citizenship in the dwelling.
"The words of Og - powerfully relevant 43,177 years later," said Cruz, adapting the words slightly for his immediate purposes.
"America no want you in cave. America say, 'Go home illegals, take family too.' America work hard start fire keep own family warm. Illegals no welcome. Go make own fire, or America beat you with club," Cruz said, paraphrasing the reflective yet homicidal caveman based on drawings on the walls of the rec room of his Western European man cave discovered by paleoanthropologists.
"America hunt, kill bear. Eat meat. Illegals no share. Hunt own bear. Eat own meat. Illegals leave. If no leave, America drag woman by hair, throw her in pit. Put children to work. Make flint tools for America."
Cruz said he wasn't advocating violence against women or child labor involving illegal immigrants, but believes the words when applied in context supported his point.
"Ted no Neanderthal. Ted love country. Ted respect laws. Ted, and Ted family, just want different skinned caveman leave, go home."