Granny Grabbed And Put In Home

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Friday, 24 April 2009

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"My room's on the third floor, second on the left. Cheers."

An old woman was forcibly removed from her family home and returned to a residential care home. Her family had been concerned about her treatment in the home.

Elizabeth Windsor, 85, of 1 The Mall, London, was sitting in the living room playing Monopoly when the Police smashed down the door. Social workers then rushed in and restrained the old woman. She then had a blanket placed over her head and she was led out to a waiting mini bus. She was then returned to Auschwitz Residential Care Home, near Croydon.

Her family were distraught. Daughter Anne said "We are not amused. She was not receiving proper care in that home. They never served her foie gras or champagne. So cruel."

Husband Phil, himself very old, said "One of them was a slant-eyed git. Bastard. I wish I had my shotgun but one of the servants was polishing it. So I beat him with a stick later."

However, her eldest child, Charlie, was less concerned. "I've been waiting for bloody years for her to go. I think she's senile. Certainly all the gin has started to have an effect."

Police defended their actions. Social services had requested that the Police attend in case the old woman turned nasty and resisted. "Some of these old people were around during the war. That means that they are trained killers. They don't forget what they learned all those years ago" said Chif Constable Stanley Unhinged.

Meanwhile Police have also been requested to attend a raid on 11 Downing Street where a mental patient is thought to be hiding.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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