Windsor Castle - (Easter Uprising Mess): "I though he was just growing some harmless skunk like all my other grandchildren!" were the last audible words muttered by hoax monarchy tribute act Queen Elizabeth II following an anti-terror raid on Windsor Castle this Easter weekend.
Two hundred police officers, lead by newly promoted Met Assistant Commissioner John Yates, stormed the castellated fortress erection before smashing down Prince Harry's bedroom door and impounding what was later described as an Aladdin's Cave of home-grown explosive devices.
Over one thousand chocolate Easter eggs filled with Semtex, crude weedkiller combustibles and various bits of Ministry of Defence ordnance kit were hurriedly removed by army bomb disposal experts.
"We think Harry was about to blitz Slough Shopping Centre and blame it on relatives of that Pakistani pal he racially smeared last year," a police source commented.
Ex-Assistant Commissioner Bob Quick has been taken to the Tower of London.