BUCKINGHAM PALACE -- Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is suffering from anus horibilis, according to a Palace source, and has been told by her personal physician that she has got to stop wearing a thong.
Eddie Izzard gave a thong with Gunners on the front and Arsenal on the back to His Royal Highness Prince Philip, as a gift at Christmas. Despite Prince Philip's objections the Queen thought she'd try it and has been wearing a thong ever since.
What was only minor discomfort at first became the more serious, anus horibilis, after the recent Obama visit. When Michelle Obama put her arm on the back of the Queen, she was actually giving Her Majesty a wedgie.Surveillance cameras don't reveal the wedgie taking place but the toothy smile by Michelle Obama and the look on the Queen's face toward Prince Philip, as if he just did a Full Monty, confirmed something untoward happened.
According to Psychologist, Dr Peter Gordon, author of 'Please Lock Me Away', "The Queen's habit of wearing a corset prevented the more serious Marty Feldman wedgie.House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was on the receiving end of that type of wedgie from Congressman Barney Frank, who from the rear mistook her for a page. It is unlikely, her eyes will ever return to normal," concluded Dr Gordon.
Ironically, Michelle Obama gave the Queen a parting gift of a thong with the words 'Man's Best Friend' on one side and a corgi and a Portuguese water dog on the other, along with the Black Eyed Peas, iTune, Boom Boom Pow.
"It is unlikely Her Majesty will be Boom Booming, while, wearing 'Man's Best Friend,'" said the Palace source.
The only comment from a Palace spokesman was that Her Majesty has cancelled the Rear Admiral's visit next week.