Shannon Matthews' Mum Arrested For Being A Slapper

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 7 April 2008


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More slapping going on - this time in Yorkshire

Karen Matthews, the mother of little Shannon Matthews, the girl who went missing for three weeks, has herself been arrested by West Yorkshire Police in Dewsbury, and charged with being a 'slapper'.

Matthews, 32, has 7 children by 5 different fathers, and easily meets the description of a slapper set by the European Commission. If found guilty, she could serve as much as 14 days in prison, and would be a social outcast, though not in her local community, which is seemingly already full of social outcasts.

Shannon's stepfather's uncle Michael Donovan has already been arrested and charged with her kidnapping and imprisonment, and just last week, her mother's 'current boyfriend', Craig Meehan, was arrested and charged with owning several indecent images of children. Two other family slappers were investigated, but police say their cells are now full to bursting with slappers and ingrates, and they have put a temporary hold on their enquiries.

Matthews was arrested last night and was led away bawling at the top of her voice about "the injustice of it all" and how "all coppers are bastards".

Neighbours produced a cacophony of howling and a wall of sound that police say is normal on this type of Council estate at 11pm on a Sunday evening.

Other family members might be charged in connection with the case soon.
Don't be surprised.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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