New Cigarette Being Launched For the Blind

Funny story written by Harry Klondike

Friday, 17 June 2022

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LDN EN: Ever notice how blind people don't smoke? The Coe & Sterling Tobacco Co. has; they're set to launch an aggressive campaign to get the visually impaired puffing.

There are three brands on the horizon:
3rd Eye Blacks: A strong full flavor smoke aimed at the 21-35 male crowd.

Keller's Select Reserve: A milder smoke aimed primarily toward males but not excluding females 35+ years of age with a refined palette.

Helen's: The ladies' brand.

According to the company's research, texturing the filter rod paper is key. Scientist have looked at the paper and said the "texture" is little more than brail with feel good positive affirmations. The company denies this is the case.

The W.H.O. is requiring each pack to give a verbal warning with each removed cigarette. Due to limitation in battery life in the pack to operate for a full 20 times; the spoken words are "this product will cause you a slow painful death".

Coe & Sterling is taking a big gamble with this endeavor. It will be the most expensive cigarette on the market due to the specialized filter and required audible voice warning.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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