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Funny satire stories about Cigarettes

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Funny story: Black Death On Its Way Back

Black Death On Its Way Back

The Black Death, the devastating pandemic that struck terror into countries all across the continents of Asia and Europe during the fourteenth century, killing around 100million people, is back amongst us, and set to take its toll once more. This...

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Funny story: US Cigarette Production Goes Into Overdrive

US Cigarette Production Goes Into Overdrive

US manufacturers of cigarettes have said that thousands of new jobs will soon be available, after it was announced, yesterday, that e-cigarettes were to be outlawed in San Francisco. Cigarette manufacturers immediately began advertizing for staff...

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Funny story: Tobacco Debate Finally Resolved: Smoking Isn't that Bad for You and Cigarettes May Even Extend Lifespan in Certain Situations

Tobacco Debate Finally Resolved: Smoking Isn't that Bad for You and Cigarettes May Even Extend Lifespan in Certain Situations

Smoking really isn’t that bad for you and cigarettes may even extend lifespan in certain situations was the big takeaway from a study recently published in the prestigious Personal Choice Journal. The comprehensive study conducted by the Personal...

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Funny story: Vaping Soon To Be A Thing Of The Past

Vaping Soon To Be A Thing Of The Past

Vaping - the practice of 'electronic smoking' - is shortly to be a 'thing of the past', according to researchers at a company in Dublin. Electronic vapers are viewed by many people as disgusting devices through which 'flavored vapor' is sucked int...

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Funny story: Man's Wife-To-Be Went Outside For Cigarette

Man's Wife-To-Be Went Outside For Cigarette

A man's wedding day was laid to waste when his bride-to-be told him she 'just' needed to "pop outside for a cigarette", and was never seen again. Colin 'D' was due at Bournemouth Registry Office at 11am to tie the knot with his intended, whose nam...

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Funny story: "Cigarette Smoke Soap" Sales Surge

"Cigarette Smoke Soap" Sales Surge

Richmond, Va - Sales of cigarette smoke soap, with its patent pending cigarette smoke scent, have surged across the United States. "Anyone who uses our soap will smell like cigarette smoke for at least two days, or your money back. With its pat...

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Funny story: Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Durham, NC [PP] -- On Monday, Dook University released what may be a first for modern science, a therapeutic cigarette which very well could cure some forms of cancer. Dr. Ralph Jones, director of research says, "This is groundbreaking research, t...

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Funny story: About Those Cigarettes In Your Shirt Pocket

About Those Cigarettes In Your Shirt Pocket

I always liked visiting the Super Bowl Pub in Wheaton, Maryland to check in with my fellow dregs to catch up on the local news, down copious beverages, talk bull and shoot some pool. Most of all we liked to talk to our good friend and owner, John, who when he saw us playing pool mumbled: "I wish you would play darts and hit someone in the back of the head rather than ruin my good pool tables".

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Funny story: Health Groups Urging Chart Topping Band the Chainsmokers to Change Their Name

Health Groups Urging Chart Topping Band the Chainsmokers to Change Their Name

They may be one of the hottest acts in pop at the moment, but US dance music duo the Chainsmokers are being criticized by health organisations and campaigners because of their rather unhealthy-sounding name. The twosome, Andrew Taggart and Alex Pa...

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Funny story: Plain cigarette packaging will help people addicted to fonts

Plain cigarette packaging will help people addicted to fonts

British MPs have voted to introduce plain packaging to all cigarettes sold in the UK by 2016, in an attempt to cut down on font addiction. "It's a growing problem," said one typographer. "Thanks to the internet, it's easier than ever for kids to g...

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Funny story: Two Arrested After Jousting Match with Frozen Cigarette Smoke

Two Arrested After Jousting Match with Frozen Cigarette Smoke

Two people are facing charges following a fight that broke out Thursday evening at a Maryland metro station bus stop. Maryland State Police said the fight started around 5:15 p.m. between the Suitland metro station and the Come & Get It Liquor...

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Funny story: Man Who Smoked Asbestos Cigarettes "Not Happy One Bit"

Man Who Smoked Asbestos Cigarettes "Not Happy One Bit"

A. Richland Moore recently announced that he was filing a lawsuit against several major companies because of his long fight with lung disease that he claims was caused by his addiction to asbestos cigarettes. In the 1980s and 1990s Mr. Moore sm...

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Funny story: Can't We Focus On All The People Who Didn't Die From Smoking? Beg Tobacco Companies

Can't We Focus On All The People Who Didn't Die From Smoking? Beg Tobacco Companies

Leading tobacco companies and cigarette makers are asking the public not to focus on the dangers of smoking but to switch their thoughts to the millons of people who smoked but did not die from smoking related illnesses. "Not everyone dies from ca...

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Funny story: Local Man Decides To Not Quit Smoking

Local Man Decides To Not Quit Smoking

Dan Riley, 31, of Madison, WI announced in a press conference today that he no longer intends to quit smoking, and that everyone can just kiss his ass. Lighting a cigarette, Riley explained his decision, "I really wanted to quit, too; not anymore. Oh...

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Funny story: Study Links Smoking with Subconcious Obsession with Hiding Your Lighter

Study Links Smoking with Subconcious Obsession with Hiding Your Lighter

A study, conducted by XNM LABS, has linked smoking cigarettes with the subconscious obsession of hiding one's lighter. Scientists of XNM LABS studied 250 smokers, splitting them in to two groups, to perform the highly controversial double-blind t...

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Funny story: Top Ten Cigarette Brands That Never Caught Fire!

Top Ten Cigarette Brands That Never Caught Fire!

Top Ten Cigarettes than never caught on, no matter how many commercials you ran on television and radio, billboards placed along the highways! 10. Lungbusters 9. Saferettes (We put your health first with our filter at each end.) 8. Fifty Butts (Save a buck, order Fifty Butts) 7. S & M's 6. Lucky Dope 5. Tobacco Farmers Genuine Organic Locally Grown Tobacco 4. Cedar...

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Funny story: Anti-Smoking Ad Campaign Gets Teen Drunk

Anti-Smoking Ad Campaign Gets Teen Drunk

Valvoline, MI - Various public health advertisement campaigns in recent years have depicted graphic ads showing real smokers and the physical pains that they suffer including tracheotomy valves and the like. Studies show that the advertisements have...

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