Smoker Approached By Council About Potholes

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 5 February 2020

image for Smoker Approached By Council About Potholes
The roads are in a terrible state

A man who is known to have lung cancer caused by more than 60 years of smoking cigarettes, has been contacted by his local council, who asked if he might be amenable to letting them have some of his tar to fix the potholes in the city's roads.

Dave Sigg, 72, has smoked since he was 11 years old, and, since he was around 20, has puffed his way through 50 cigarettes every day. Doctors have told him there is "no way" that he should still be above ground, but he gasps on bravely, making the air putrid for the rest of us.

Now, Hull City Council have approached Sigg with a view to relieving him of some of the sticky, thick, black tar that is clogging his lungs, so that the city's severely-damaged road surfaces can be repaired, and motorists appeased.

Sigg was unable to splutter a response, but coughed his permission.

Scraping will start next week.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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