CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Federal Cigar Federation of America has just made an astounding discovery.
FCFA Vice-Executive Director Millard F. Willowwiggins, informed the news media that a 36-month research study has shown that a vast majority of Cuban Cigars have been found to contain large quantities of Femolotasitis, which is an ingredient that has all of the qualities of standardized estrogen.
Willowwiggins stated that in the 3-year study 87.8% of the participants (men between 51 and 74) were found to have very high amounts of the female hormone.
The total amount varied from 59.1% to 74.9%. This clearly explains why many rich, overweight, men are now having to wear bras and have also started drinking exotic fruit flavored margaritas (i.e. papaya mimosa margaritas).
Another female quality that many of the men have acquired is an addiction to watching the Hallmark Movie Channel along with finding George Clooney to be one hunk of a stud.
SIDENOTE: A leading expert on both cigar smoking and female hormones has stated that these rather unusual traits can be reversed within 18 years of a Cuban cigar smoking male totally giving up Cuban cigars.